8 posts tagged “love”
During one of our living blog entry moments at the Secret Place, before it drizzled on the glass and steel jungle of the heartless city, Elizabeth and I heard the sound of fireworks. Though unseen from our corner of the sky, the string of joyful noises was a fitting, poetic cap to our 'anything goes' conversation on life, love, work, and people - the way a reprise binds an entire musical together.
She then asked, "Why do magical things happen around us?"
I haven't used the word magical a lot lately. In the workplace, magical is a relevant salary increase. In the streets, magical is an unexpected but welcome downpour of crisp one-hundred dollar bills. In love, magical is that elusive Disney movie ending.
Yet something as entrancing came to mind.
I answered, "You know how it is when stars form constellations? Those who discover them prove them, name them, and have them certified. Then the discovery becomes a cause for celebration."
Silence. Smiles.
"We are stars," I continued.
"Yes, we are."
Dear God,
I apologize for not writing sooner. And for not handwriting my response. (I've kind of lost my penmanship to the computer - something I feel terrible about.)
...but this time, a hopefully better person.
Because at the end of the day, it's the only thing that matters.
~Owen, 10.30.08
Artist: Seals and Crofts
Words: Paul Williams
Music: Charles Fox
Released: 1977Love conquers all, so the story is told.
True love doesn't get old, it gets stronger.
Love conquers all, that's not hard to believe.
If you find it naive, still believe it when you try.Take an empty heart, fill it up with love, offer it to someone new.
Women make it strong, have them pass it on, let them have as much as you.
Love is what you make it, how you give and take it.
First time out, just fake it. You don't have to be taught.Love conquers all, takes the best from the worst.
Nice guys comin' in first all around us.
Love conquers all, and the love's [law's?] not easy to hide.
If you let it outside, it will bounce right back to you.Take an empty heart, fill it up with love, it will leave you in a living dream.
Love can make you drown, you can never tell all the things love can give.
Love is what you make it, how you give and take it.
First time out, just fake it. You don't have to be taught.Love conquers all, be it strong and full of seed.
Take as much as you need, you deserve it.
Love conquers all. Could the west be won without love?
It's love that carried the wagons. Love's what happened to dragons.
Yes love can handle the pieces that fall.
Love conquers all...
Watched 27 Dresses by my lonesome the other night.
From a technical standpoint, it was nothing great. The formulaic storyline of 'always the bridesmaid never the bride' has been interpreted many times before. In fact, I've seen better. (There's a local film entitled 'Got 2 Believe' that was way more touching, it struck every chord in my body.) Save for the - sorry - 27 dresses Katherine Heigl wore, the movie had no saving grace.
Now that's the catch.
I don't know with you, but movies with predictable plots are a trap. Because it does not offer anything groundbreaking, I am left with doing the most dangerous movie-watching act of all - putting myself in the shoes of the character. (In this case, it's Heigl's and no one else's.)
Please. Not this movie. Not a movie about someone who's been waiting in the wings while those she love are living front and center. Not a movie about seeing people benefit out of something you set up in the first place!
Fuck.
So there I was, faced with that challenge and with no choice but relate my present with the conflicts of Heigl's alter ego. I kinda see the parallelism, you know. For a time longer than I could imagine, I have not really been given the chance to be loved - my way.
May be that that's the downside of being the nice person in the relationship - the type who'd shower the other with affection and display concern. Do people see me as a pushover/doormat, hence, take me for granted? Do they all think that I'm okay - more than okay even? Is that why they decide on channeling the love I've so longed for to those who seem to need it more?
Why does the quiet, mysterious rebel always get the happy ending? Don't they know that all in love is fair? That even Mr. Goody Two Shoes needs as much as love as the next (quiet, mysterious rebel) person?
So, this dud of a movie has now gotten me to think that a) I don't need it and I'm fine the way things are, or b) I am not taken as I am and therefore must be someone I'm not.
Heck, isn't there an option C? Can I add to the selection? Please?
Ever since I could remember, I've trained myself to believe that things happen for a reason and that everything unfolds at the right time. But hey, even optimists have a pessimist strand lying around french-braided in their DNA.
Don't get me wrong though. I have not given up on hope. Truth be told, hope fuels my drive. It's just that there are times (like now) when the need to be loved becomes as primal as thirst for water. The thing with water, however, is you don't 'hope' for water. You run to the fridge and find it. Then drink it.
Hmmm.
...
...
...
Did I just create my own lightbulb moment?
Maybe that's what I need to do. I should fetch myself some lovin'. Eureka. (Fireworks.)
Now, wasn't that the same thing Heigl's character did?
I guess that's why you call it cliché. Because in the absence of novelty or intended force, it still rings true.
For a split-second, I worried for my life.
Okay, that's just an exaggeration. But it can't be denied that once in a while, a concern the magnitude of life itself pays an unwelcome visit. And the guest drops by the door of the most unprepared. And no, this is not about menstruation, or anything I know I'll never earn in this lifetime.
It's Valentine's Day and as in years past, I am single. Single albeit wary of love's existence. I'll charge that to whatever experience I now have. That's better than being jaded, eh?
Am I about to wax poetic?
Naaah.
My ‘right now’ emphasizes even more the reality I am bound to live out. I've dreamed thousands of dreams and have been deeply infatuated with visualizations of my planned future, but who and where I am anchors me particularly to whom and where I should be. It means blooming where I am planted. It means making the most out of every working, loving, living day. It means stretching my will to a point of positive discomfort - akin to discovering pleasure in pain.
This translates to waking up two, three hours before login so I could accommodate my leisurely pace from the bed to the shower. It means sleeping and waking up in a room all decked in pink and suffocating from frou-frou because my father now has his roots firmly planted on my bedroom while I was gone. It is the harsh commute from the southern suburbs to the city, with iPod on full blast if only to drown highway noise. It is convincing yourself that belch is a Tom Ford fragrance.
It is about receiving Failure to Login notifications even if you know for a fact that you logged in that day. It is the slow computer that greets you with one megabyte emails. Emails that could have been lighter had everyone known that PowerPoint slides can be saved as jpeg. It is the classroom that has been promised a mounted projector, given one, and deprived of only after two blissful months. It is the perennial courtship with Helpdesk that always starts with one student forgetting his own password, the same password that he’s been using for the past thirty days, causing his account to be locked. It is the courtship that repeats itself at least twice a day everyday for five weeks. It is the volleying of opinions and suggestions with your counterpart halfway ‘round the world with the ball hardly landing on either side of the court. It is your amateur take on Excel and how standard deviations and bell curves can save the world. It is the tiring search for the perfect quality photocopy paper that puts me at par with wolves eager for dinner. It is about getting your way with the utility boys because you have perfect quality photocopy paper and the rest don't. It is about obsessing over security verification and analyzing how billing zip is different from expandable billing zip. It is about finding a meeting later that they're the same after all. It is about learning a new skill today and gawking about it like a crazy fan to a smorgasbord of disgruntled non-believers, indifferent passersby, and engaged partakers tomorrow. It is rejoicing over one, even just one soul who thinks that the class was great and that they're eager to put their newly-acquired skill to use.
It is the never-ending quest for the perfect threads to throw on for my bi-weekly hosting gig. It is blurting risqué one-liners to spruce up the show and realizing at the end of the show that ‘Yeah that was nice.’ It is the silent understanding between my co-hosts and I and the onstage relationship that real-life romances and friendships ought to learn from. It is about virtual self-pats on the back or smiles from random people inside the office for becoming a celebrity in your own right. It is about indulging in the limelight because the stage is yours.
It is about those moments that you just want to cry and give up but realize that you love what you do and have six bills to pay all in the same pay period. It is about those times within the day that you just want to be in New York folding shirts at the Gap or sorting Havaianas at Urban Outfitters but find yourself erasing the writings on the board to give way for the next class (and for you to wear a dozen more professional hats). It is about hearing from those who matter that you are doing a good job even if your personal standards say that you could do better. It is about not hearing anything from those who matter because they want to motivate you another way. It is about a concept called work-life balance that you mistook for a complicated gymnastic routine until someone told you it’s for everyone to perform.
It is being happy deep inside, illuminating with love, and smiling despite usual and unusual professional pressures, cinematic psychodramas, and loose ends that make the ideal handbag tassel. It is finding solace and being okay because the one you love is okay. It means being content and not seeking for anything grander because you know things are going to get grand anyway. It is seeing the glass as half-full and excitedly waiting for it to be filled to the brim. It is about enduring growth spurts yet not losing your heart and soul in the process. It is about transcending and becoming a better version of yourself everyday. It is accepting with serenity and grace that you are in the here and now because this is the right place and the right time.
This is reality. This is life. This is beautiful.
